Ugg.  Can’t I just write that?  Lol.

Might as well just say what’s on my mind…  I haven’t been writing because I’m not sure in which direction to take this blog.  It seems like all I ever post about anymore is farm animals and menu plans.  I have a lot more on my mind than that!  I think it freaks me out a little bit that so many people I know in “real life” read this now.  It’s not that I don’t want people to read… I just forget how much I put on here and then someone will surprise me and make a comment about something and I’m like… how’d you know that?  Oh, duh, I blogged about it.

Of course it doesn’t much matter if the whole world knows what I’m planting in my garden or eating for dinner.  I just don’t think I write like I used to because I’m not sure I want to put certain things out there.  I already shared that I want to blog about God and I don’t know if this is the place to do it.  I also want to share the steps I’m taking to prepare for having children someday.  I’m just not sure I can handle everyone’s opinions about those topics.  It seems like too often bloggers who talk about parenting end up stopping because they tire of all the ridicule and opinions.  Oh, and I’m also afraid to blog too much about planning to start a family because we don’t need any rumors circulating, since we’re NOT trying or even close to trying yet.  I just want to be super prepared.  And I don’t need people tell me that preparing is stupid, it will be fine, blah blah blah.  Anyway, since I haven’t yet decided to blog about THAT I’m going to stop talking about it.

Like I said… ugg.  Oh, and to top it all off I’m kind of in a funk anyway.  Like, not really depressed, and still very happy with my life over all but kind of tired of the day to day.  I don’t feel like I’m pushing myself in my career like I normally would.  The computer dying didn’t help any, and this is the worst time of year for us financially because all the big bills come in.  When other people blog about feeling down or blah I silently cheer for them to pull out of it and force themselves to man up.  Now I have to kick my own butt and tell myself that.

I think I just need to quit worrying about who’s reading and blog like I used to.  Who probably really cares about the details anyway, right?  Am I blowing this out of proportion?  The other thought I had was just making the whole blog private and pretty much accepting anyone who wants to read but at least then I would know.  Maybe I’m exaggerating the whole thing because of this mood I’m in.


8 thoughts on “Must.Write

  1. Annemarie

    Boy can I relate to a lot of what you are saying. I especially understand the financial worries. We are under a lot of stress right now because of buying seeds, fertilizers, etc. I keep trying to not worry and trust God but sometimes that is hard.

    I had a personal blog and a farm blog which became too much for me with the available time I have. My husband and I talked about it and I decided to focus on the farm blog. We don’t post much personal stuff on there mainly for the reasons you state. But there are still times I long to get more personal on the blog. I do get to share some “fun” stuff on the blog like recipes I tried, books I have read, stuff like that.

    I know I have not really given any good advice but I do understand how you are feeling. Remember this too shall pass.

  2. Vicky Russell

    Hey Jenna
    Sorry to hear you are in a “funk”. I think it’s great that you “plan for a family”. Too bad everyone doesn’t. And, it seems, we all have times we are in a “funk”. So, like you said, ya just gotta “pull yourself out of it” I guess. But I do have an idea that may help! 🙂 Why don’t we get together for a horseback ride on Sunday afternoon? You & I both know the healing power of horseback riding with good friends…..Hope you are feeling better soon! luv ya! Vicky

  3. Jenilee

    I have thought many of those same things! People say things sometimes and I think, “How did they know that?” Duh. the blog! and then, “I didn’t know they read my blog!” It’s kinda weird to think about. People who don’t blog don’t always understand that need to write. 🙂 I do think that you can blog about the topics that you want to blog about without getting negative feedback. This is your story, your blog so you can use it to write things as God lays them on your heart to write! Whether it is about having a baby or the garden or the farm or your chores or even mice in the house lol 🙂 Remember that God can use your life to touch the lives of others for Him. I enjoy reading your blog!

  4. Dea-chan

    So autocorrect tried to tell me that my blog was at…

    I think that there are ways to not allow comments for posts, or moderate your posts if you are writing about a sensitive subject that you would rather not have derision for. Hells, the blog is for YOU to write about what you would like. Use it as your own soundboard and journal… You should not be writing for us, although we like it 🙂

    That said, it’s always enjoyable reading the day to day life, and differing views of the many women who’s blogs I read. Although I’m not Christian, I am spiritual and can respect your quest to find your God and be a better person in your own eyes. Although I am not a mother, that is also something I think about and would be interested in seeing your plans and preparations.

    Basically, only put out here what you feel comfortable with. You had mentioned starting another blog to write about more personal things… You could have this as a farm journal and the other, more private one for such topics as you don’t feel comfortable sharing with this readership. The sky’s the limit!

  5. Cari

    I think it would be great to hear about your experience with the church and how you’re taking steps to prepare for having children 🙂 i never get to see you so i think it’s great to hear all of these things.

    by the way, i really enjoyed talking to you at your sister’s graduation party! i need to come visit you and get some fresh eggs and chickens! i’ll let you know soon how many i want to order.

  6. Farmer's Daughter

    I do the same, but I worry my students or their parents will read something and think its inappropriate. So my blog is pretty g-rated, but even then some people got in a fight in the comments and it ended with one of them vowing not to read my blog anymore. I don’t know what to say so I haven’t said anything yet. I think it’s stupid, though, and in reality I don’t blog for anyone else, I blog for myself…

  7. Amy @ Raising Arrows

    I, personally, would love to hear more about you and what you are thinking. I’m all about being honest, and while it does freak me a little that so many people I know read the blog, I’ve found it to be a good ministry tool and a good discussion starter with family members who usually don’t hear what I am thinking. Funny how I am more open with my blog readers than my actual family!

  8. Angie

    Hi Jena,

    Glad to see you are back online.

    I have recently begun telling people about my blog at the urging of a friend that discovered my blog and was TICKED that I hadn’t told her. I actually much preferred when I was blogging to connect with my blogging buddies (like you!) – it seemed to take the pressure off having to filter what I was writing. I’m in the same boat as you that I don’t quite know what direction to go, or write and am feeling self-conscience about the whole thing. And I get the funk part too – ditto that one here also.


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