Ugg. Can’t I just write that? Lol.
Might as well just say what’s on my mind… I haven’t been writing because I’m not sure in which direction to take this blog. It seems like all I ever post about anymore is farm animals and menu plans. I have a lot more on my mind than that! I think it freaks me out a little bit that so many people I know in “real life” read this now. It’s not that I don’t want people to read… I just forget how much I put on here and then someone will surprise me and make a comment about something and I’m like… how’d you know that? Oh, duh, I blogged about it.
Of course it doesn’t much matter if the whole world knows what I’m planting in my garden or eating for dinner. I just don’t think I write like I used to because I’m not sure I want to put certain things out there. I already shared that I want to blog about God and I don’t know if this is the place to do it. I also want to share the steps I’m taking to prepare for having children someday. I’m just not sure I can handle everyone’s opinions about those topics. It seems like too often bloggers who talk about parenting end up stopping because they tire of all the ridicule and opinions. Oh, and I’m also afraid to blog too much about planning to start a family because we don’t need any rumors circulating, since we’re NOT trying or even close to trying yet. I just want to be super prepared. And I don’t need people tell me that preparing is stupid, it will be fine, blah blah blah. Anyway, since I haven’t yet decided to blog about THAT I’m going to stop talking about it.
Like I said… ugg. Oh, and to top it all off I’m kind of in a funk anyway. Like, not really depressed, and still very happy with my life over all but kind of tired of the day to day. I don’t feel like I’m pushing myself in my career like I normally would. The computer dying didn’t help any, and this is the worst time of year for us financially because all the big bills come in. When other people blog about feeling down or blah I silently cheer for them to pull out of it and force themselves to man up. Now I have to kick my own butt and tell myself that.
I think I just need to quit worrying about who’s reading and blog like I used to. Who probably really cares about the details anyway, right? Am I blowing this out of proportion? The other thought I had was just making the whole blog private and pretty much accepting anyone who wants to read but at least then I would know. Maybe I’m exaggerating the whole thing because of this mood I’m in.